Butterflies are Free
by svenjen
Summary: While sitting by the pool during their 'Lost Summer' Chuck watches a butterfly and reminisces about the only woman he will ever love. Please note, this is a one shot.


**Butterflies are Free**

**A/N: **This is just a one shot I thought of one morning as I was waking up after a Chair dream.

**Disclaimer:** I still do not own Gossip Girl, Ed Westwick or Leighton Meester in any way, shape or form. This piece is completely fiction and was created for entertainment purposes only. Only the title of this story has been borrowed from the early 1970's movie, Butterflies are Free, featuring a young Goldie Hawn.

**XOXO**

The salty bead dripped off of Chuck's elbow onto the concrete deck and quickly evaporated with the sweltering mid day air. He sat up and wiped his brow with a hanky and then lazily reached his hand out to the tiny side table and picked up his drink, bringing it slowly to his lips.

"Come on, Chuck," Nate pleaded. "Kiera promised me there are going to be a lot of single women there. You'll have fun!"

Chuck set the glass back on the table and reclined once again on his beach chair, ignoring his relentless friend. They'd already had this conversation earlier and he wasn't into reruns.

The blond finally just shook his head in frustration and sighed. "Fine! Stay then! But you're going to have to start living again soon!"

Nate was pissed. This was supposed to be a 'Lost Summer' for him and Chuck, an opportunity to party and play without the restrictions of girlfriends, school, jobs and family issues. But Chuck wasn't being as optimistic as Nate had anticipated he should be. In fact his friend had been depressed all summer, unable to shake the feeling that insisting Blair marry Louis and leave him, had been a huge mistake.

Nate finally shrugged his shoulders and turned towards the hotel entrance. His date was waiting for him to pick her up for the BBQ and party her friends were holding.

Chuck mopped his sweaty brow once again and sighed as he settled back into his deck chair. He tilted his face upwards towards the sun, enjoying its intense heat.

He knew that he was letting his friend down, but he couldn't help it. Although he had intended on living it up this summer, he just couldn't do it. He missed her horribly.

For a while Chuck closed his eyes and tried to nap. But the image of Blair walking out of his life with Louis haunted his thoughts. Finally he gave up on the nap and opened his eyes, noting that a couple of skimpily clothed ladies had settled directly across the pool from him. It annoyed him that they so obviously wanted to get his attention. The two giggled like school girls, their exaggerated movements making him frown.

Suddenly he caught sight of a shimmer of colour out of the corner of his eye just past the whores. He turned his head slightly and noticed a pair of tiny, delicate lavender wings, shining in the brilliant sun, descending on some kind of flowering shrub.

The butterfly settled onto the plant, content to probe the flowers for their sweet nectar. It slowly fanned itself, opening and closing its tiny wings to help it stay cool in the blazing heat of the early afternoon.

Chuck stared at the insect, mesmerized at the simplistic beauty it displayed. His mind focused on the wings and he became lost in thought as a memory so old and faded, suddenly burst into his mind...

**XOXO**

It had been near the end of an unseasonably warm October and Chuck Bass was five years old. He watched with anticipation as the other children began arriving to his kindergarten class that morning. It was the first time he would ever participate in a Halloween party in his young life and he was excited.

"Put your treats on the back table and then take your seats on the story rug," Mrs. Clark had told her morning class.

Chuck carefully placed the treats his nanny had wrapped for the party on the table and sat down on the carpet next to his new friend, Nathaniel Archibald. He straightened the eyepatch over his right eye and looked at the shiny green of the Power Ranger costume Nate was wearing.

Nate looked at Chuck and puffed out his chest. "See, I'm the green ranger!" he bragged.

"He's the coolest one," Chuck agreed to his little friend. He personally didn't like Power Rangers, but appreciated that Nate was crazy about them. Instead, Chuck liked pirates and had begged his father for the menacing costume he was now wearing, until Bart had finally sent Chuck's nanny out to purchase it for him.

Suddenly a tall girl with stringy blond hair and wearing a multicoloured clown costume, plopped down on the carpet next to Nate. She was frowning. "Nate, my nose won't stay on," the girl pouted as she held out the spongy red ball representing a nose, in front of them. She attempted to put the thing on her face, but it didn't stay for more then a moment.

Nate smiled at the girl. "It's ok, Serena. You don't need that," he told her. "I'll just colour your nose red with my marker when it's play time."

Serena smiled at Nate and nodded. "Thanks, that should work," she agreed.

The last of the students were just entering the room when the bell rang.

"Hurry children," Mrs. Clark encouraged as the last of them put their treats on the back table and scrambled to find places on the story rug.

Suddenly Chuck caught sight of a blur of shimmering purple as a little girl with chocolate coloured ringlets made her way through the other kids to sit next to Serena, her delicate lavender wings bouncing behind her back.

Chuck knew the girl was a fellow student, being as how he had been in this class for over two months now, but he'd never paid any real attention to her before. He hated girls. But purple was his most favourite colour and this very tiny girl was covered in it.

"Eyes up front please," the teacher called to the children as she began to deliver the morning's agenda.

Later on, after the morning's stories and activities were completed, the children all shared their treats and then headed outdoors for their play time.

Nate had coloured red marker all over Serena's nose and part of her face too, Chuck noted. He thought it looked ridiculous, but knew Nate would be mad if he teased the silly girl, so he refrained. He was distracted from the two of them anyways. He found that he just couldn't take his eyes off the little girl in purple who Nate finally told him was named Blair Waldorf.

"She's really pretty, but kind'a bossy!" Nate complained as he steered Chuck over to a part of the playground where several of the other boys were playing. "Let's play Power Rangers," he suggested to his friend.

"No, Let's play pirates today," Chuck suggested. "We played Power Rangers last time. "We should get those girls over here to play and then we could capture them as our prisoners and take them to our ship," he added as he indicated to where Serena and Blair were playing.

The girls were sitting on the swings, just finishing lolly pops when Nate called for Serena for them to come over and play with them.

"Come on, B," Serena called as she left the swing and headed over to the boys. "It'll be fun!"

Blair frowned and reluctantly followed her friend, not liking the thought of playing with the boys. They tended to get dirty! And they tended to play rough!

She shook her head adamantly when Nate announced they were pirates. She refused to join in their game. "I'm a butterfly," she commented confidently as she turned her backs on them and opened her arms to flutter away.

Chuck stared at the little girl clad in deep purple leotard and tights. Her gossamer wings were a beautiful shade of lavender and sported purple gemstones that sparkled like jewels in the sun. Her dark curls, held back from her face by a purple headband/come antenna, bounced down her back as she played in her own world, fluttering around the play area. She was indeed the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He turned around to watch Nate chasing after Serena, planning on taking her hostage in their pirate ship. And he wanted Blair to play with him like that.

Suddenly, Chuck had an idea. He ran after Blair and quickly overtook her. He held onto her arm firmly and began to drag her across the playground to their 'pirate ship.' "You are my prisoner!" he announced to her with a smirk.

Blair shrieked as she found herself being dragged off by this strange new friend of Nate's. She didn't want to play pirates! She did not like getting dirty, even though Serena didn't seem to mind looking like a frump all the time. She began to pull back, wanting to go about with her own play away from the boys.

But Chuck was insistent and he held her tighter and pulled her even harder. As she began to resist, he was surprised at the strength her tiny frame possessed. When he finally reached the area where the 'ship' was, and once again he proudly announced, "I have caputered you and now you are my prisoner!"

Blair looked coldly into Chuck's amber eyes as Serena and Nate stared uncomfortably at the two of them. Both kids knew that you did NOT push Blair into doing anything she didn't want to do. And Blair looked mad!

Before Chuck knew it, Blair slammed the heel of her Mary Janes into his foot, causing him to yelp out in pain and release his grasp of her. He stared at her in disbelief.

Blair smirked at him. "Don't you know, butterflies are free!" she announced sweetly as she spread her tiny arms and fluttered away once again.

**XOXO**

Chuck smiled at the memory. He had known from that moment on that Blair Waldorf was special. And he'd been mesmerized with her ever since.

He reached once again for his drink and took other long sip, grateful for the cooling effect it had on his parched throat. He lifted the hanky off his lap and mopped his forehead once more and then did the same to the back of his neck. Christ it was hot!

He settled back into his deck chair and looked past the two bimbos who were currently flipping through magazines while they perfected their tans. Once again his eyes settled back on the lavender wings that continued to fan the frail body of the butterfly as it drank the nectar form the shrub's flowers. Soon another memory began to reveal itself from the dark recesses of Chuck's mind...

**XOXO**

Bart Bass was having a party. Eleven year olds Nate, Serena and Blair had just been ushered upstairs to play with Chuck in the Bass suite while the adults enjoyed their time in the party room several floors down in the Palace Hotel.

"What're we gonna do?" Nate asked the somber boy who was busy playing with his gameboy and ignoring the other kids.

"I don't know," Chuck shrugged. He was in a terrible mood after being reprimanded from his father earlier, and didn't really want to be responsible for entertaining company that evening.

The three kids had sat quietly on the sofa next to him in the living room and looked at the floor. They knew that when Chuck was in this kind of mood, it was best to leave him alone.

Blair was the one who understood him the best when he was like this. Of the three, only she knew of and appreciated the torment he suffered from his father's constant wrath and disappointment in him. She understood it completely because she experienced the same treatment from her mother.

Blair reached out and gently put her little hand on his arm.

Chuck stopped playing his game and looked up at her, holding her gaze momentarily. Her deep brown eyes seemed to see into his very soul and he knew she understood him. She sadly nodded her head and smiled at him.

He sighed and put down his game. He looked back at Blair and nodded. "What do you guys want to do?" he finally asked.

"I want to sit out on the balcony and look at the stars," Serena replied.

"Do you think we could have ice cream?" Nate asked hopefully. Despite just having eaten dinner, the boy was starving!

Chuck nodded his head and went to find the housekeeper to ask her to make them a large banana split that they could share out on the balcony.

The four of them piled out onto the huge terrace and plunked down on chairs so they could admire the view from so high up in the sky.

"You can see the stars much better out in the country," Blair commented.

"But we're not out in the country now, Waldorf!" Chuck stated harshly. "So this is as good as it's going to get!"

"I was just saying…..," Blair replied back, feeling somewhat hurt over Chuck's tone. She had recently returned from her grandparents' vineyard in France and had been awestruck over the difference between the clarity of the New York evening sky and the one in rural France.

Just then the housekeeper appeared with a large ice cream treat and four spoons for them to share.

Blair's eyes practically bulged at the thing that was overflowing with three flavours of ice cream, bananas, nuts, cherries and an assortment of candies such as smarties and gummie bears. It looked decadent for sure. But she knew she couldn't have it.

"Dig in!" Chuck said enthusiastically as he pulled up a chair to the outdoor table and grabbed a spoon.

Nate and Serena jumped up and followed suit, immediately digging into the frosty treat. But Blair hung back, reluctant to join them.

She had been chastised from her mother earlier that afternoon for eating a cookie for her snack.

"No more sweets, Blair!" the woman had snapped. "You're getting fat! From now on you may have only vegetables if you must have a snack, or better yet, refrain altogether. No one will ever like you if you're fat!" Eleanor had shaken her head and started to leave the room. "And Blair," she added as she glanced back at her daughter. "Tidy your hair. It looks atrocious!"

Blair had cringed over the harsh words from the woman. She put down the remainder of the cookie and gone to her bedroom in tears. She made her way into he bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. "I'm ugly... and I'm fat," she said as scrutinized herself. "No one likes me like this."

The taste of the cookie was still in her mouth. But now as she looked at herself in the mirror, the flavour of the vile thing became a just a horrid after-taste in her mouth. She felt bile rise in her throat and knew she was going to be sick.

She carefully got down on her knees before the toilet and wanted to throw up. But nothing happened. She frowned in dismay, knowing if she were to throw up the cookie, then the fat from it wouldn't stay in her body. She needed to puke!

Slowly she reached her tiny hand into her mouth and stroked the back of her throat. Sure enough she began to vomit into the shining white bowl of the toilet.

When she was finished she stood up and washed her face and brushed her teeth as the tears continued to pour down her face. She picked up her hair-brush and began to tidy her hair until it looked perfect. She sighed in displeasure and washed her face once more, hoping the tears had stopped for the time being. She finally left the bathroom and made her way back down to the living room.

Blair sighed and she got up from her star gazing to wander around the rest of the balcony, away from the ice cream and other kids. She admired the flowers that the staff had growing in large pots near the ledge.

Chuck watched as Bair delicately fingered the blossoms of several flowers. She looked sad, he noted, and wondered what her mother had said to her earlier to make her feel this bad. He looked back over at Nate and Serena, who were oblivious to their other friend's dismay as they pigged out on ice cream.

Chuck put his spoon down on the table and stood up to go over to Blair. "What's wrong?" he asked her quietly. "Don't you want to share the ice cream with us?"

Blair looked up at him and she shook her head. He noted her eyes glistening with impending tears.

"What is it?" he asked softly so the others couldn't hear. "Did something happen with your mother again?"

Blair looked at the other potted plants on another table and she shrugged. "I don't want to talk about it," she sadly replied.

She suddenly noted a tiny motion coming from within a glass jar on the table next to some pansies. She walked over to the table and picked up the jar, noting with horror that it contained a distressed butterfly.

She looked up at Chuck questioningly.

"I caught it in the park this afternoon," he commented. "It's for my collection."

Blair looked at him in horror. "There're no air holes in here, Chuck. It can't breath!"

Chuck took the jar out of Blair's hands and he shook it, causing the butterfly to assert itself once again. It thrashed its frail body against the glass, causing delicate scales to fall into a powdery mess with others at the bottom of the jar.

"It's supposed to die. Then I can pin it on the board with the others in my collection."

"But it's suffering!" Blair cried as tears started to rain down onto her cheeks. "You're killing it! Butterflies are free!"

Chuck looked at Blair in disbelief as she bawled over the sight in the jar. He couldn't believe someone would get that upset over a bug! "It's just bug, Blair!" he reminded her. "You hate bugs! Besides, it's mine!"

"It's suffering!" she repeated as more tears spilled. "It wants to live!" She looked at him through her tear filled eyes. "There's an old saying. '_If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn't, it never was!' _So please, set it free!"

Chuck sighed and began to unscrew the lid of the jar. For some reason this was important to her. And as much as Chuck wanted this butterfly for his collection, he wanted to ease the distress in his little friend even more. He tilted the jar until the butterfly finally made its way up to the top and then flew onto the pot of pansies on the table. "There. It's free," he told her.

Blair wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into the warm skin of his neck. "Thank-you, Chuck," she whispered.

He put the jar down on the table and hugged her back, enjoying the closeness he never really got to experience with any other person besides her. "It's ok, Waldorf," he replied. "You're right. Butterflies are free."

**XOXO**

Chuck swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and fought off the urge to cry. He recalled that later that night Blair had finally confessed what her mother had said to her and what she had done to herself in response. He'd known at that point that they were far more alike than anyone would ever know.

He closed his eyes and made himself calm down. Maybe he should go and lie down in his room, he thought. But he knew that if he fell asleep now then he would likely be up all night, and that was something he hated beyond belief. Because at night the images of Bair and Louis together tortured him until he finally fell asleep emotionally exhausted!

So instead Chuck watched the butterfly as it continued making a meal from the nectar of the bush. As he watched the thing, more memories surfaced from deep within...

**XOXO**

"Where's Nate?" Chuck asked as he helped her out of the car.

"I think we just broke up!" Blair replied to him anxiously as she left the cr and began to head into the club. "I don't want to talk about it. I just want to escape. That's what this place is for, right?"

Chuck ushered her into Victrola and showed her to his private booth at the front of the stage. He quickly poured her a glass of Champaign and smiled as she sunk back into the comfortable fabric of the seat to watch the scantily clad women on stage dance before them.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but…" he began.

"Relief!" she replied, not wanting to talk about her x any further. "I feel relief!" Blair watched as the dancers continued to do their routine on stage. Her head slightly bobbed along to the music, appreciating the rhythm. "You know I have moves?" she asked rhetorically.

Chuck smirked. "Really?" he questioned sarcastically. "Then why don't you get up there?"

Blair chuckled. "I'm just saying I have moves."

Chuck looked at her and he smiled, bumping her gently with his shoulder. "Come on, you're ten times hotter than any of those girls," he told her.

Blair looked at him, believing him to be patronizing her. "I know what you're doing, Bass," she replied with a frown. She looked back up at the stage once again. And then she looked over at Chuck "You really don't think I'd go up there," she commented.

Chuck smiled again. "I know you won't do it," he admitted.

Blair looked away from him. Did he really have such little faith in her? "Guard my drink," she told him as she set the glass down in front of them. She rose from the seat and quickly made her way to the stage. She'd show him!

Chuck was dumbfounded! Was she really going to go up with the other dancers?

He watched as Blair began her seductive moves on the stage. She slowly undid the side zipper of the puritan dress she was wearing and shed the confining material to reveal the shimmering dusty rose silk of the slip she wore, underneath.

As that dress hit the stage, Chuck found himself on his feet, staring at her in disbelief. He felt the heat begin to boil in his veins as he relished in her beauty.

Without the confines of the heavier garment, Blair's body began to move freely on the stage, revealing to Chuck the beautiful and passionate creature that she truly was inside.

Blair swept her hair off the back of her neck and she seductively turned her head slightly back over her shoulder to look at Chuck.

He was awestruck. Where indeed had the old Blair vanished to? And who was this delectable woman in front of him now? As she finished her dance he raised his glass to her. Yes indeed, Blair Waldorf was something else!

Chuck adjusted himself in the deck chair. Recalling that night at Victrola had always made him a little more than uncomfortable in his seat, just as it was doing now. It had been the night of her emergence from the sheltering confines of her conservative cocoon into the passionate person he now knew her to be.

He looked again at the butterfly and smiled at the comparison. He knew he had helped free her from the confines of her sheltered life that evening.

He sighed as he took another swallow of his drink, noting with irritation that the ice had melted and watered the scotch down substantially. He signaled for the waiter to come over and ordered another scotch, heavy on the ice. He picked up the hanky and mopped away the sweat again with disgust.

He noted that the skanks had flipped over to tan their back sides and his eyes scanned quickly over the curves of their skimpily covered asses. It was purely a habit. He felt nothing but distain for other women these days.

He thanked the waiter for the drink and took a couple of long sips before setting the glass down on the table. He leaned back on his chair and let his eyes wander back to the shrub where the butterfly now fluttered around seeking undiscovered flowers to probe, it's delicate wings gently hovering around the leaves of the shrub.

Chuck remembered the first time he had felt such fluttering in his own stomach...

**XOXO**

It happened the moment her lips had first grazed across his own. They had been full and moist and as soft as the wings of a butterfly. He had pulled away after their initial touch, not wanting to misinterpret and take advantage of the situation.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Her response was to crash her lips once more against his. He remembered their sweetness as they parted and his tongue gently probed its way inside. Never before had Chuck experienced such ecstasy with just a kiss. Butterflies had begun to flutter deep within his belly, a sensation he had never experienced before in his life. And although the feeling both startled and scared him, he wanted nothing more but to continue.

He moaned quietly as he remembered her taste and the way her tiny body had then made it's way onto his lap. He recalled every curve and dip of her as he explored her body for the first time that evening.

Later, tasting her sweet honey had only fueled the fluttering in his belly. And then those butterflies had burst when she finally spread her wings and welcomed him inside of her in more ways than just one. She had been sure, and it had changed their relationship forever.

Chuck groaned once again at the memory of their first intimacy, causing the women across the pool to smile and look over at him again. Oh great, he thought. Now they think they're getting me off!

He turned his head in revulsion and focused once again on the lavender butterfly that had found another untapped source of nectar in the shrub. He watched as it sunk its proboscis deep into the flower and he let his mind continue to wander...

**XOXO**

"Do you... 'like' me?" she asked him the next evening at her birthday party.

It was the dangerous type of question Chuck would normally steer clear of. But after the night before in the limo, he couldn't. "Define like," he finally said back to her.

Blair looked at him in disbelief. "You have got to be kidding me!" she blurted.

Chuck was taken aback by her response. "How do you think I feel?" he asked. "I can't sleep! I feel sick, like there's something in my stomach... fluttering."

Blair looked at him in disgust. "Butterflies?" she said in disbelief. "Oh no, no, no, no, no! She shook her head and glared at him. "You have got to be kidding! I do not believe this!" she replied in horror. "You know that I adore all of God's creatures and the metaphors that they inspire, but those butterflies have got to be murdered!"

Fine!" he angrily replied back in defense. "It wasn't that great anyway!"

The irony of her statement hadn't been lost on him. In fact, her words had stung him far more than he would have ever have believed was possible for any woman to do. She had wanted those butterflies murdered!

But later when he went to her in her grief, Blair welcomed him back into her arms again. That evening had been the beginning of their emotionally charged and bittersweet romance for the next two years.

And what a relationship it had been, he recalled. Blair had captured his heart, and he had taken hers prisoner in return. Both of them had refused to say those three words that were needed to finally cement their relationship forever.

But the truth really was, he had loved her from the moment the butterflies had first fluttered inside of him. He was just so afraid that she would use that knowledge to destroy him if she didn't really love him back.

And so Chuck continued to hold her heart captive until the night of their prom just a couple of years ago.

He cleared his throat and focused as he felt another memory begin to overtake him...

**XOXO**

Nate had been waiting for her when Chuck approached Blair at the bar. Blair had recently begun seeing him again but was currently talking to Chuck while they waited for the Poppy Lifton take-down.

"I can't answer his question while I'm waiting for you to answer mine," she told him. "The one I asked you forever ago." She looked at him sadly. "What are we, Chuck?"

"Blair….," he responded as he shook his head and looked down at his shoes.

"Last fall you said we couldn't be together," she continued. "But every time I try to move on you're right there acting like…."

"Acting like what?" he asked

"Acting like….," Blair sighed. "…. Maybe you just want me to be as unhappy as you are."

"I would never wish that on anyone," he replied as he looked at her sadly. "I want you to be happy," he admitted truthfully.

"Then look down deep into the soul I know you have," Blair said as she turned and looked deep into his amber eyes. She could feel the tears begin to pool into her own eyes as she felt him deep within the recesses of her soul. "Tell me if what you feel for me is real, or if it's just a game. If it's real, we'll figure it out….., all of us." She swallowed hard. "But if it's not…., then please, Chuck, just let me go."

Chuck watched the tears begin to slip down Blair's face and he felt the butterflies doing back flips in his belly. But he knew he was all wrong for her. He smiled sadly. "It's just a game," he lied. "I hate to lose. You're free to go."

Up until that moment, this was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do in his life. He watched sadly as Blair thanked him and then turned around to go and find Nate.

"Why did you do that?" Serena asked him with concern moments later. The blond had witnessed the exchange of her two friends and approached Chuck with concern when she saw Blair leave.

Chuck stared ahead at the bar and he sighed. "Because I love her and can't make her happy," he replied back honestly. He knew that he had to release Blair and set her free before she suffocated because of his dysfunction.

As he sat by the crystal blue pool, Chuck closed his eyes recalling the painful event. It had almost killed him to send her back to Nate. Nate was wrong for her! He had known then, that deep down, that he was the one who really belonged with her. He secretly had hoped that she would return to him.

He shook his head not believing his stupidity! That day had come only a few weeks after prom, Chuck recalled, as his mind brought forth even more details from the past...

**XOXO**

Blair knew that Chuck really loved her, but was too afraid to say the words she so desperately needed to hear from him. And after the Gossip Girl blast at prom labeled him a coward, and her, a weakling, Blair vowed she would not be weak anymore.

Chuck was livid after finding out that she'd slept with his venomous uncle two winters prior.

But despite his obvious anger, Blair still refused to run from him. She bravely confronted him instead. "I know you told Serena you love me," she stated.

"Serena heard wrong," he denied as he tried to brush past her.

But Blair wasn't finished. She put out her hand and stopped him in his tracks. She approached him slowly until she stood directly in front of him. "Last year you told Nate. This year you told Serena. You told everyone but me. Why won't you tell me?" she asked. She reached out her hand and began to gently stroke the side of his face. "Is Gossip Girl right about you being a coward?" she asked.

Chuck brushed her hand away and glared at her. "That's not true and you know it!" he insisted firmly.

But Blair wasn't deterred. She stared right back at him. "Gossip Girl can be right about you all she wants. But I won't let her be right about me!" she said. "I will not be weak anymore."

She stepped in even closer to Chuck and gently placed her hands back onto his face. "You can't run," she told him softly as she looked deeply into his eyes. "You have to stay here and hear it this time."

Chuck felt his stomach churning as the butterflies resurfaced and began to wreck havoc on him. He was terrified!

Chuck Bass," Blair began as she'd softly caressed his face. "I love you. I love you… so much, it consumes me. She swallowed hard but dared not break eye contact with him. "I love you," she repeated again with conviction as she looked at him, her eyes glistening with emotion and concern as she confessed her deepest feelings to him. "I know you love me too…. Tell me you love me!" she pleaded as her eyes began to well up. "And everything we've done… all the gossip and the lies and the hurt will have been for something."

Chuck closed his eyes, not able to look at her. He was been completely overwhelmed and was feeling frightened over her confession, and more than a little hurt that she would have slept with the one person he hated more than anything else on the planet. He really didn't know what he should do at the moment.

And then Blair looked at him in pain, not believing that he wasn't replying. "Tell me it was for something," she pleaded with him again.

Instead, he opened his eyes and slowly removed her hands from his face, knowing that what he was about to say would surely break her heart again. He swallowed his fear back when he saw her lip begin to quiver. "Maybe it was, but it's not anymore," he finally replied coldly before walking away from her once again.

It was but another in the long line of grave mistakes and complete fuck ups that he'd made with Blair, he thought with distain...

But the butterflies wouldn't die! Even though he ran away to Europe to get away from her, the damned things erupted repeatedly in his belly whenever he remembered her words. _'I love you so much it consumes me….'_ The words relentlessly refueled their flutters until he was finally forced to return to New York and admit his true feelings to Blair.

"I love you too," he finally confessed, correcting the wrongs of his past and ensuring the next part of their future would be the best time in both of their lives.

And for months Chuck's butterflies had been free to mix with hers, he recalled, as the two of them shared a love he'd never been able to believe was possible. He was never happier in his entire life than he'd been during that period in his life, he fondly remembered. Blair was his family and he had intended on spending the rest of his life with her…. That was until Jack resurfaced!

Chuck shook his head and opened his eyes. He grabbed his drink and shot the remainder of it down in one quick gulp, signaling the waiter to bring him another. He would NOT relive the rest of that period… His mother, the Empire, Jenny fucking Humphrey, Prague, Eva and all of the hate that had resulted between he and Blair because of his stupidity! The grief of that time frame was too much for him to bear! He had allowed his uncle to once again poison the love between them!

Chuck nodded his thanks when the waiter placed the cold drink down on the table. He looked once more at the shrub, noting the butterfly was once again fluttering around its flowers.

He sighed. And now Blair was with Louis! How the fuck had he allowed that to happen? She was the love of his life, and the only one he knew he would ever be able to love!

They both knew what a great love they shared together, Chuck bitterly recalled as the memory of their final evening filled with drama, passion and loss crossed his mind once more before he had let her go yet again!...

**XOXO**

"There's a difference between a great love and the right love," he told her. "I left the Empire State Building last year after two minutes when you didn't show," he reminded her. "Louis waited all night. This is your chance at happiness. You think you shouldn't want it because you've never had it and it scares you. But you deserve your fairytale!"

"We make our own fairytales!" Blair insisted, sensing he was again abandoning her again.

Chuck sighed and shook his head. "Only when we have to," he had assured her as he thought about what kind of life she could have with Louis. "You don't."

"I didn't want to let you go just yet," Blair cried as she looked at the man she loved.

Chuck leaned in and tenderly kissed her on the forehead. "Don't let anyone tell you you're not powerful," he advised. "You're the most powerful woman I know."

"It's taking all the power I have to walk away from you," she confessed sadly as she struggled to keep the impending tears at bay.

Chuck weakly smiled again. "I know. But I need to let you go." He noticed the hesitation in her eyes then, and it killed him to say what he knew he had to say to her next. "You need to let go."

Blair stepped back a step from him and swallowed hard. "'I'll always love you," she promised as a fat tear splashed down onto her cheek.

"I will always love you," he replied back sadly before he watched her walk away from him, into the arms of the other man.

And now Blair was in Monaco, waiting to be married to Louis, a real flesh and blood prince. And here he was, sitting alone on the Spanish coast mulling over his pathetic love life! Chuck sniffed and removed his sunglasses to wiped away the few tears that he had just realized had begun to fall down onto his face, with the hanky from his lap.

He looked over at the butterfly once more and watched as it hesitated for a moment on a flower before lifting its gossamer wings and fluttering away into the sweltering sun. The motion made him smile.

Butterflies are free, he thought as he fondly recalled Blair's words from long ago. And, like a butterfly, he had also let her go freely to explore the fairytale she so rightly deserved. And who knew? Maybe one day Blair Waldorf would return to him again, this time to become his queen, that was if her fairytale turned out poorly. After all, she'd been the one to teach him, '_if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it is yours. If it does not, it never was._' And he knew that if and when Blair returned to his side, she would be his forever, and he would never let her go again.

It was time to go back to the room and have a shower, he thought as he stood up and straightened the shirt that was sticking to his skin. Maybe he'd go and join Nate at that BBQ and party after all.

**XOXO**

Fin

**XOXO**

**A/N:** Writing this story made be cry. I am dreading Season 5 but am hoping that Blair does come back to him. The alternative seriously breaks my fucking heart! Do you feel the same?

So this story was a little different for me. What did you think? If you liked it, please review it.


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